Little White Lives traces my journey from inherited racism to self-awareness, beginning quite literally in the womb. This personal chronicle examines how prejudice is passed down through generations, not as an excuse for past beliefs, but as an unflinching look at their origins. By exposing these deeply rooted patterns in my own life, I hope to illuminate a path forward—showing how confronting our inherited biases can lead to both personal and collective healing.
Introduction: Raised Racist - Born in 1961 Jacksonville during the height of racial tension, I inherited racism as naturally as a family name. From my father's near-participation in Ax Handle Saturday to my own childhood awakening, this is my raw account of confronting the prejudices I was raised to believe.
Chapter One: Parents - Delves into my parents' histories—from my father's isolated Montana upbringing to my mother's chilling memories of KKK rallies in Alabama—revealing how their own exposure to racism shaped the prejudices they would later pass down to me.
Chapter Two: Nanny - Follows my precious bond with Nanny, a Black caretaker at my childhood nursery, and the heartbreaking moment when learned racism shattered our connection.
Chapter Three: White Sibling Fun - Exposes the casual cruelty of familial racism through childhood memories of 'games'—from my siblings' minstrel-style mockery to deliberate acts of public humiliation. This raw account reveals how racism was packaged as entertainment in white households.
Chapter Four: Racism In The Classroom - Confronts systemic racism in 1960s education through my third-grade memories of Miss Rosier, a Black teacher in our all-white school. Her daily struggle against student cruelty and institutional indifference reveals how desegregation policies often left Black educators to face hostility alone.
Chapter Five: Private School Riot - Confronts the immediate aftermath of school desegregation in 1971 Jacksonville, as white families fled to private schools. Through my experience at a Christian school and an explosive confrontation over racism, the chapter reveals how religious institutions became havens for white flight.
Chapter Six: Desegregation - The Law - Confronts my first year of mandatory school integration at Rufus Payne, where childhood conflicts revealed deeper truths about systemic racism. Through a pivotal confrontation that exposed my own ingrained prejudices, the chapter examines how white flight became the reflexive response to desegregation, perpetuating the very segregation the law sought to end.
Chapter Seven: Flying Whiteness - Examines life after white flight in Clay County, where the near-absence of Black residents created an illusion of racial harmony. Through a pivotal encounter in high school gym class, the chapter reveals how suburban migration allowed white families to perpetuate segregation while pretending racial issues no longer existed.
Chapter 8: Into The Silent Years - Follows my journey to San Antonio's Rigsby housing project at age 18, where my naive white perspective collides with complex realities. Through relationships with Shelly, Big Joe, and the residents, this chapter reveals how good intentions can mask deeper prejudices, and how grace sometimes comes from unexpected teachers.
Chapter 9: All Quiet on the Whitewashed Front - Examines the privilege of forgetting as I retreated into white spaces after San Antonio. Through an encounter between my girlfriend's racist father and a stranger, the chapter exposes how quickly white solidarity can form around shared bigotry, and how silence—my own included—perpetuates racism through the comfort of willful ignorance.
Chapter 10: MTV, Church, and A Much Needed Education - Chronicles my dual life in late 1990s New York City, where corporate America and spiritual community offered contrasting lessons in racial reality.
NEW!
Chapter 11: Unlearning by Undoing - A raw confrontation with my own white fragility, this chapter was by far my most difficult to write. Returning to the South after more than a decade in New York, I discover that unlearning racism isn't about reading the right books or saying the right things—it's about the humbling, exacting work of recognizing patterns so deeply ingrained they feel like truth.
COMING SOON!
The final chapter for Little White Lives, Chapter 12 is in the works:
As this personal chronicle concludes, I reflect on what writing this series has revealed and the work that remains. From confronting painful truths about racism's persistence to finding unexpected moments of growth through discomfort, I explore why this journey—both personal and collective—remains inherently unfinished.
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